The Secret Key to the MeidouSeki
by Amara Anon
Summary: After Naraku's defeat, Sesshomaru receives a mysterious scroll that sets him on a new journey, and begs the question, what is the secret key to the Meidou-seki? And what is his heart's greatest desire? -COMPLETE-
1. The White Phoenix

Disclaimer: Inuyasha belongs to Rumiko Takahashi.

_A/N: Written for Minakiwi._

**The Secret Key to the Meidou-Seki**

One day, when Sesshomaru was lost deep in his thoughts, as was so often the case now that his time was not spent hunting Naraku, a phoenix with dazzling white plumage swept down on the wind and dropped a small scroll at his feet. Jaken yelped and ducked as the graceful bird soared past him like a white feather on the breeze. The phoenix let out a melodious cry and flew away just as quickly as it had come, disappearing into the horizon. Sesshomaru stood unmoved and untroubled by this strange occurrence, but Jaken spluttered as he got to his feet.

"Blasted thing nearly took my head off with its beak! What do you suppose that was all about, m'lord?"

Sesshomaru gave Jaken a glare and pointed his eyes toward the scroll on the ground. "Read me the note, you fool."

"Oh, of course! Right away, Lord Sesshomaru!" Jaken unrolled the parchment and read aloud its contents, which said: "_Sesshomaru, I have a matter to discuss with you of great importance. Do come and see me in person. And remember, I hate to be kept waiting._" Jaken looked appalled at what he had read. "Such an informal tone!" he chirped. "What kind of impertinent creature dared to write this?"

Sesshomaru snatched the note out of Jaken's scrawny hands and read it with his own eyes. He recognized the handwriting immediately, and proceeded to bring his foot down upon the imp's head, squashing his hat quite flat and pushing his face into the dirt. Satisfied that Jaken had been appropriately punished for his idiocy, Sesshomaru calmly said, "Stay here. I will attend to this matter alone." With that, he leapt gracefully into the air and began flying in the direction that the phoenix had taken. Jaken came to his senses in time to lift his head (where a lump was already forming) and see Sesshomaru fading into the distance.

Jaken sighed in disappointment. "Wherever could Lord Sesshomaru be going? And why did he have to leave me behind?" the imp sniffed as little tears began forming in his eyes.

* * *

When Sesshomaru arrived at his destination, he found the phoenix resting quietly upon the shoulder of the person who had summoned him. With its proud white head and slender neck, the phoenix looked quite as sleek and beautiful and haughty as its owner.

"What is it that you want with me, Mother?" Sesshomaru said abruptly.

"Straight to business right away, then?" His mother looked down at him with a smirk from her throne above the castle steps. "Can't a mother take some time to look over her only son?" Her eyes glanced him over and began to gleam. "You have a new arm, I see."

"Yes."

"And a new sword. What is its name?"

"Bakusaiga."

"It radiates strength. Truly you have attained your full power…" Suddenly a look of disappointment crossed her face. "Where is my friend the little youkai? Hiding behind your heels?"

"I left Jaken behind."

"To watch over your human girl?"

"Rin lives with her own kind now."

"A wise decision, Sesshomaru. However did you arrive at it?"

Sesshomaru hesitated before answering. His mother was the only person in the world who could make him hesitate. He hated that. "She's safer where she is now."

"Almost lose her again in battle, did you?"

He hated the way Mother could read him even more, as though his mind were an open scroll for her to peruse at her leisure.

"And tell me, Sesshomaru, when your girl was in danger, when you thought she might die, _for good_," his mother placed unpleasant emphasis on these words, "did you shed a tear on her behalf?"

Sesshomaru's face was tinged with annoyance. "You know I did _not_."

"Not in your nature, is it?" The phoenix cooed on her shoulder, and his mother stroked the top of the bird's head gently. "Doesn't Ou have lovely coloring? Simply marvelous creature, very intelligent. I don't know how I ever got along without her. She was a gift from the continent…"

"You did not summon me here just to make small talk, Mother."

"You're right, of course. But first, answer me this: _What does your heart desire most in the world?_" Sesshomaru was silent, so his mother went on. "Once I think you would have said your father's sword Tessaiga, but that is no longer the case. After your lust for the sword was gone, I think you most desired the defeat of your greatest enemy, but Naraku has vanished from this world. Perhaps then your greatest desire was the safety of your human girl, but as you said, she is well taken care of now. So what else is there that you wish for?"

Sesshomaru paused a moment before saying quietly, "There is nothing left in this world that I want."

"Oh, pooh. Come now, Sesshomaru, you can't fool your own mother. There is something still that you desire. I sense a great emptiness in you."

"You are mistaken."

The lady sniffed, pretending to be offended. "Tell me, Sesshomaru, do you recall the circumstances of our last encounter?"

"Naturally," Sesshomaru said, glaring into his mother's eyes, though he spoke dispassionately. "You tested me with Father's gift, the Meidou-seki, which released a hell-dog that attacked Rin, resulting in her death."

"Oh, do not look at me so coldly, son. The girl turned out all right, didn't she? But that is right, the circumstances under which we last met were… unfortunate, but necessary. Before your father died, he bequeathed guardianship of his precious Meidou-seki to me, and made me swear to test you with it when you came asking about Tenseiga." As the lady talked, she picked up the Meidou-seki in her hand, regarding it fondly. It was a black orb set in a gold medallion, which hung from her neck on a string of enormous iridescent pearls. The orb's ebony surface gleamed luminously as she shifted it in the light. "Do you remember what the little youkai said that day, when your girl died? He said that your countenance prevented you from ever showing tears, so that he would do it in your place. Do you recall that?"

Sesshomaru looked harshly at his mother, but said nothing.

"I wonder… much time has passed. You have faced more battles since then… perhaps more heartbreak… indeed you have faced the most important battle of your life. Have you not found reason since then, to shed a tear?"

"Do you think me weak, Mother?" Sesshomaru said with a look of disgust. "No tears have ever marred these cheeks."

"Of course not. Well, then… I believe you asked me why I summoned you here. I will be forthcoming with you, Sesshomaru. I called you here to discuss the matter of the Meidou-seki."

Sesshomaru glanced at the orb's black surface wearily. "What about it?"

"Perhaps you did not know… when your father entrusted the Meidou-seki into my care, he did not intend for me to bear it forever."

"No?"

The lady shook her head lightly. "He said that I was to loan it to you, for a time, when you were ready, if I believed you would have use of it."

"Indeed? Why now, Mother? What makes this moment in my life worthier than the ones before?"

"You have surpassed your father," she said with a nod toward Sesshomaru's re-grown arm, "and I believe the largest battles of your life are behind you."

"And what use would I have for this so-called treasure? You say, 'loan,' so you do not intend for me to keep it forever, meaning…"

"Meaning no, you are not going to keep it long enough to revert what should be a natural death for your little pet, when her time comes."

Sesshomaru's brow furrowed slightly. "If I am not to use it on Rin… the only other purpose the Meidou-seki serves is opening the portal to Hell. Surely you do not intend me to vacation there."

The lady's eyes glimmered with amusement. "Perhaps there is someone else you wish to save from Death's grasp."

Sesshomaru almost started in surprise. "Who?"

"That's up to you, isn't it?" the lady said, lifting the Meidou-seki over her head and placing it into Sesshomaru's hand. "However, I must warn you, the Meidou-seki is not so easily mastered. You need to find the key to use it."

Sesshomaru's hand tensed around the golden medallion. He had never seen his mother wield a key to unleash the Meidou-seki's powers. "What key? Where is it?"

His mother gave him a secretive smile, and shook her head. "That's for you to find out."


	2. An Old Family Friend

Jaken was awoken by the familiar and comforting feel of Sesshomaru's boot grinding the back of his skull into the earth.

"Ah, Lord Sesshomaru!" Jaken said after spitting the dirt and weeds from his mouth. "You've finally returned! It's been two days. I was beginning to get worried—"

"Shut up, Jaken," Sesshomaru said.

"Yes, Lord Sesshomaru!" Jaken said happily, then gasped when he saw the trinket slung around his master's neck. "Can it be? The stone that opens the portal to Hell? Is that really your Most Honorable Mother's Meidou-seki?"

"No, Jaken," Sesshomaru said, holding the medallion in his hand and staring into the fathomless black surface at its center. "It is _my_ Meidou-seki."

"Then it was your Most Honorable Mother who summoned you?"

"Yes, you fool. She gave the Meidou-seki to me, although for what purpose she was not entirely clear. However, I believe I have determined what I should do."

Jaken stared up at the gold medallion in awe. "Yes, Lord Sesshomaru?"

Sesshomaru narrowed his eyes dangerously. "You better pick up the Nintoujou, Jaken. For now is your chance to prove your worth to me." Sesshomaru turned and aimed the medallion directly at Jaken. "I shall use the Meidou-seki to release a hell-hound into this world and watch you fight it to the death."

Jaken squawked and clutched his staff to him, quivering from head to foot. "R-r-really?"

The moonlight flickered off of Sesshomaru's golden eyes for one deadly moment.

"No, you gullible fool," he said, and released his grip on the Meidou-seki. It dropped from his hand and fell to rest against his chest.

Jaken sighed and felt his knees might collapse from relief. His master sure was scary sometimes.

Sesshomaru was unfazed. "I haven't the faintest idea what Mother is up to." He stared up into the distance at the white moon, its unknowable surface reminding him of the Meidou-seki itself. "But I intend to find out." He broke off the giant pearls that were bound to the medallion and dropped them onto Jaken. "Here, hold onto these." The string of pearls was twice as long as Jaken's body and he stood there helplessly entangled, unsure of what to do with them.

"Your Most Honorable Mother won't like what you've done to her necklace, milord."

"You can fix it before I give it back to her," Sesshomaru said, tucking the Meidou-seki into his robes next to his heart.

* * *

Over the months that followed, Sesshomaru tried every possible way he could think of to open the portal to Hell, not that he knew what he was supposed to do once he unlocked the Meidou-seki's powers.

First, he tried commanding it with his thoughts.

When that failed, he ordered it aloud to open.

When that failed, he asked Jaken if he had any ideas.

When Jaken failed to utter anything useful, he bashed him over the head with it. It left a nice impression on the imp's skull, but still the Meidou-seki refused to yield its secrets.

Pushed to the limit of his patience, Sesshomaru sought out a Dark Sorcerer, renowned among youkai, hoping the fiend could use his magic to decipher the whereabouts of the key that his mother had mentioned.

The problem with Dark Sorcerers, though, is that they can't be trusted. No sooner had Sesshomaru revealed the Meidou-seki's existence than the brute tried to claim it for his own.

Jaken was waiting outside the sorcerer's hut when Sesshomaru returned not a minute after he had gone in, sheathing Bakusaiga with a foul expression on his face. Jaken thought he smelled a charred carcass from within, but knew better than to ask questions when his master was in a mood.

"Come, Jaken," Sesshomaru said. "It appears outside sources cannot be trusted with this matter. That leaves only one option."

Jaken scampered after him, barely latching onto the mokomoko-sama in time as Sesshomaru flew into the air.

"Where are we going, Lord Sesshomaru?"

"To visit an old family friend, of course."

* * *

Sesshomaru bashed Totosai's forehead against the bone wall of his cavern home three times.

"Hi," he said, releasing the old fool's skull.

Momo the three-eyed ox mooed uneasily in the background.

Totosai waited for his vision to clear and the ground to stop spinning. When he was quite sure there was only one Sesshomaru instead of two, he coughed and said pleasantly, "Sesshomaru! What brings you my way?" though he was thinking _Great, what does this idiot want?_

Sesshomaru pulled out the Meidou-seki and held it in front of Totosai's face. "Do you know what this is?"

Totosai's large, watery eyes went wide. "The Meidou-seki!" he gasped. "I haven't seen it since your father was alive!"

"Then you know what it's capable of."

Totosai gulped and nodded. "He who holds the Meidou-seki holds tremendous power. The Power of Life and Death."

Sesshomaru's heart began to quicken. The old fool actually knew what he was talking about. Sesshomaru could feel his answers were at hand.

"Tell me, old man, and I'll leave you unscathed…"

_Unscathed?_ Totosai thought, rubbing his forehead gingerly where three lumps had already formed.

"Tell me the key to wielding the Meidou-seki's power."

Totosai stared at Sesshomaru and licked his lips slowly, hesitant, as though he were about to reveal some terrible, dangerous secret, one that would have grave repercussions. He opened his mouth to speak.

"I have no idea."

In a flash, two outstretched claws were at Totosai's throat. The points barely touched the skin, but already a thin trickle of blood issued out from under his chin.

"You said you've seen the Meidou-seki before. Surely you know how it works."

"Hey, hey, watch it! Sure, I've seen it—_once_, right after your father had won it in battle! But I never saw him use it, I swear!"

Sesshomaru tilted his index finger harder into Totosai's skin. His voice was dangerously silky.

"_Make an educated guess._"

"I—I—I don't have the faintest idea! But I can help you! Let me go! I know exactly who can tell you what you need to know!"

Sesshomaru relaxed his hand slightly. "Go on."

Totosai wiped his brow. "Before your father died, he gave the Meidou-seki to your mother. If anyone knows how to use it, it's her!"

Sesshomaru shoved two claws back into Totosai's skin while the old codger yelped.

"You idiot. Where do you think I got the Meidou-seki in the first place? Mother was not particularly forthcoming."

"In th-th-that case," Totosai spluttered, "I can tell you the name of a good Dark Sorcerer… but I can't guarantee he won't try to betray you and take the Meidou-seki for himself."

Sesshomaru growled and released Totosai from his grip. "You're useless, old man. Luckily for you, I'm late for a prior engagement." He turned and walked away, calling to Jaken outside the cave that they were leaving.

Totosai slumped down against the wall, hung his head, exhausted, and breathed a sigh of relief.

Then, with no warning, Sesshomaru reappeared next to Totosai. "I forgot something," he said calmly, and bashed Totosai's head three times into the wall for good measure.

"Bye."

When Sesshomaru was gone for good, Totosai turned an accusatory eye towards Momo. "Thanks a lot! You were a big help!"

Momo just shrugged and mooed.

* * *

"I should have known that good-for-nothing old fool would be useless, Lord Sesshomaru!" Jaken said haughtily as soon as they were up in the air, flying quickly out of Totosai's noxious lands. Jaken could sense a fresh urgency in his master's countenance. "Where are we heading now, milord? Do you know of someone else we can question about the Meidou-seki?"

"The Meidou-seki can wait, Jaken. Yesterday was the night of the new moon. It's been three months."

"Oh, of course, milord! In all the excitement of our pursuit, I had forgotten…"

"I hadn't," Sesshomaru said, breezing through the wind at top speed. "It's time we paid Rin a visit."


	3. Race to Rin

Sesshomaru raced against the wind to the village of Edo where Rin lived, Jaken clinging for dear life to the mokomoko-sama all the while. He visited her every three months, more often if he could, but lately the matter of unlocking the secret of the Meidou-seki had occupied much of his time. He knew if he kept Rin waiting much longer, she would worry. Usually he arrived on the night of the new moon, that one night of the month when his stupid brother was more useless than usual at protecting the village from outside threats. But that night had already passed, and Sesshomaru couldn't help but worry about what condition he would find the village—and Rin—in.

* * *

As dawn arose, Sesshomaru could see the village of Edo on the horizon. He inhaled once, sharply, and then let the breath slowly out. There was no scent of destruction or bloodshed.

As he passed over the village, Rin's safety was confirmed when he spotted his brother's wife picking medicinal herbs in the fields. Soon Inuyasha's ugly dog ears poked up above a patch of tall grass and he came bursting out of the brush triumphantly holding up an unusual looking plant to add to Kagome's basket. Kagome looked cheery and threw her arms around his neck in an embrace. Their private moment was interrupted when apparently Inuyasha scented Sesshomaru on the breeze and released Kagome to look up to the sky.

As Sesshomaru passed overhead, Inuyasha had a sour expression on his face and his arms crossed stiffly. But Kagome waved up at him, calling out the familiar "Brother-in-law!" greeting he had yet to grow accustomed to over the past year. A slight wave of nausea passed over him and disappeared as he flew on, disgusted by their romantic display.

Sesshomaru was soon greeted by another familiar sight. Two little twin girls were chasing a kitsune outside their hut, giggling hysterically every time they caught him and he seemingly disappeared in a puff of blue smoke, only to turn out to be that rock or statue or mushroom on the ground. Their mother and father watched and laughed along with them, Miroku calling out, "You'll have to do better than that, Shippo!" and taking the opportunity to rub his wife's rear end while the kids were distracted. Sango blushed, but was no longer spurning Miroku's advances, as was evidenced by her already swelling belly despite the fact that their son, sitting on top of Miroku's shoulders, was hardly one year old. Sesshomaru looked at the couple's lovesick smiles and almost sneered.

Thank goodness Rin lived on the other side of the village. Sesshomaru didn't think he could stand seeing them up close.

He landed and gave the wrinkled old miko woman a terse, formal greeting, and she told him that Rin was making tea in their hut. To Jaken's dismay, Sesshomaru told him to stay with the miko, and he spluttered in useless protest when Kaede greeted him, "Ah, little youkai! You can come down to the river and help me wash linens!" As Kaede and Jaken left, Sesshomaru went in to see Rin alone.

"Lord Sesshomaru!" Rin cried when she saw him. "I had a feeling you were coming today. Sit down, please. I've made you some tea…"

"I can't stay long, Rin. I have matters to attend to."

"I understand. I'm just happy to see you, even if it is only for a little while." Rin looked up at him with big brown eyes. "I'm so sorry that I am not with you all the time, Lord Sesshomaru."

"Do not spare my feelings, Rin. The old miko takes good care of you and you have many humans your age to play with. You are perfectly content here."

Rin hesitated. "I am," she said finally, "but I am sorry that you are lonely."

"I am not alone," Sesshomaru scoffed. "Jaken is always around, whether I want him to be or not."

"Oh, I know you have Master Jaken, Lord Sesshomaru, and I am grateful for it. But I know how hard it can be to adjust to change. When my family was killed, I was still surrounded by people everyday, and I never felt more lonely in my life."

"Such a foolish thing…" Sesshomaru said. Rin looked down at the floor, so he continued. "I miss your company, but I am not sentimental. It is enough for me to know that you are safe."

Rin smiled at him warmly. "Thank you, Lord Sesshomaru." His back went rigid as she embraced him, but he put a hand on her head lightly. Rin's cheek came to rest against his chest, and suddenly she pulled away. "What's this?" she said, pointing to his heart. She had felt something round and metallic against his chest under his robes.

"I didn't mean to show you this," Sesshomaru said, taking out the medallion for her to see.

"Oh," Rin gasped. "The Meidou-seki. I haven't seen that since your mother…"

"Yes," Sesshomaru said, putting it away again. "The memory is painful for both of us."

"Why do you have it with you now?"

Sesshomaru sighed lightly. "Because Mother thinks I will have some use for it. But it is not mine to keep. I have had it for months and have yet to find the so-called key that will unlock its secret."

"A key?"

"Yes. And without it, this thing is as useless to me as a piece of junk."

"Forgive me, my lord, but you once thought Tenseiga was useless as well. Whatever it is that this treasure is supposed to do for you, I believe you'll find it. Your mother said so, after all!"

"Hn. Yes. I suppose that is true." Sesshomaru took one last look at her to make sure she was well. "Goodbye, Rin."

"Goodbye, Lord Sesshomaru."

* * *

Three days later, Sesshomaru found himself and Jaken once again wandering aimlessly across the countryside. The Meidou-seki was clenched angrily in his fist. Even with Rin's encouragement, he was no closer to finding the key.

Suddenly his anger boiled over and he threw the medallion as far as he could. Jaken yelped in surprise. The Meidou-seki landed quite some distance away in the grass. Sesshomaru glared at Jaken foully. "What are you waiting for, fool? Go get it!"

"Oh, yes, right away, Lord Sesshomaru!" And Jaken scurried off, huffing and puffing, to retrieve the medallion.

Sesshomaru scowled in disgust. How dare Rin suggest that he was lonely? And how dare Inuyasha and his stupid friends pair up so conveniently and constantly display their affection for one another? It was sickening.

Suddenly Sesshomaru heard a melodious note on the wind. A white phoenix swooped down out of the sky and dropped a scroll at his feet. Then, just as quickly as it had arrived, the phoenix swept back up into the sky and disappeared into the distance.

_My mother's bird again_, Sesshomaru thought. He picked up the scroll and read his mother's handwriting:

_My dear Sesshomaru,_

_I do hope you've found the key to the Meidou-seki by now. I've given you more than enough time, and I am convinced that if you haven't found it by now, you never will. I require the Meidou-seki's return in no more than three days. Remember, I hate to be kept waiting._

Sesshomaru stopped reading and frowned. He knew there was no way around his mother's wishes. If he didn't return the Meidou-seki to her in three days, he knew she would have some way of finding him or dispatching some horrible servant of hers to reclaim it. There was no point in trying to hold onto it any longer. He knew she was right. There was no way he would find the key now. He had failed.

The idea of failure looming over him, marring his stature in some way was more discouraging than the idea of not using the Meidou-seki to do… whatever it was supposed to do. His father had wanted him to have the Meidou-seki for a reason. And now he would never know what that reason was.

Sesshomaru was ready to tear up the scroll and toss it away, but almost absentmindedly he looked at the rest of his mother's letter.

_Oh, also, I have heard reports of a powerful demonic spirit traveling across the land, leaving human villages decimated in its wake. My scouts have told me that they found entire populations of paralyzed villagers, frozen like stone by some sort of demonic spell. They estimate that the spirit is moving toward the southeastern lands._

_Say, isn't that where your little human pet lives?_

"Lord Sesshomaru," Jaken cried, running up to him. "I've retrieved the Meidou-seki for you—ahhh!"

Sesshomaru had snatched Jaken up and flown into the air, heading back in the direction of Rin's village. He only hoped he would make it in time. The Meidou-seki and his failure to find the key were completely forgotten.

_Hold on, Rin!_


	4. Kurokemuri

"Lady Kaede! Lady Kaede!"

A little orphan boy no more than four years old came running into Kaede's hut, looking unnerved.

"What is it, Botan?"

"It's going to rain! It's going to rain!"

"What are you talking about, child?" Kaede dismissed him with a wave of her hand. "There isn't a cloud in the sky today."

Botan tugged on her sleeve. "Come look! I saw it! Come look!"

Kaede sighed. Her joints weren't what they used to be, and she was looking forward to settling down with a nice hot cup of tea. Botan was an easily excitable child. And who could blame him? The poor thing had lost his parents not two weeks ago in a fire. Kaede decided it was best to see what had gotten him so upset—the sooner to calm his nerves. "Oh, all right, child." With some difficulty, she lifted herself to her feet. Botan took her hand and practically pulled her outside.

"Not so fast, dear, I can't keep up."

"Hurry! Look!"

"There's nothing out here, child—oh!"

Suddenly Kaede had been covered in shadow, and the shadow was quickly moving over the rest of the village.

"See?" Botan pointed toward the sky. "A cloud!"

Kaede began drawing out an arrow from the sling on her back. "That's no cloud, child…"

The cloud, or so it appeared, was darker than night and spreading fast. Villagers were running out of their homes to see the spectacle. Suddenly part of the cloud began to descend. Screams and cries of "Black fog!" were heard throughout the village as the smoke swept through the land and into the homes.

"Stay behind me, child," Kaede said.

A great and terrible voice as big as the sky itself suddenly rang out as the smoke circled around Kaede and Botan.

"_So much sorrow. So much loss. I can feel this child's pain. How delicious!_"

"You will not touch him!" Kaede said as she released an arrow towards the smoke.

The sound of horrible, hacking laughter came as the arrow went through the smoke harmlessly. "_Foolish crone_," the smoke coughed. "_I am the great Kurokemuri. I am like the air itself. My body is ever moving. Your souls are mine!_" Like a black tidal wave, the smoke raced toward them.

"Run, Botan!" Kaede urged.

"I will not leave you, Lady Kaede!"

Botan watched in horror as the smoke hovered in front of Kaede's face for a moment before it lunged straight into her eyes. Kaede opened her mouth as though to scream in pain and then her whole body stiffened. She fell over like a stone, unblinking, unmoving. Her bow and arrows fell uselessly to the ground with her.

"Lady Kaede! Lady Kaede!" Botan was shaking her over and over. The whites of her eyes had turned black with the smoke, and she seemed not to see or hear him.

Kurokemuri laughed again. His smoky body was circling around the boy like a shark. "_The pain of her sister's death is delectable, but yours wwwill be much fresher!_"

Botan screamed….

* * *

Rin sneezed.

"You know what they say about sneezing, Rin," Kagome chuckled. "It means someone somewhere is talking about you behind your back!"

"It must be Master Jaken, then." Rin sighed. "I don't know, Kagome. I don't think I'll make a very good miko. I can't even gather medicinal herbs without sneezing all the time, and here it was so nice of you and Inuyasha to take me all the way out here. You're a good teacher, Kagome. I guess I'm just a lousy student."

"That's not true, Rin! You're a fast learner. You just need to steer clear of those yellow weeds. I think you're allergic to them…. Hey, Inuyasha, what's the matter? You look worried."

"I hear something." Inuyasha's ears had tweaked once, twice, and now he turned in the direction of the village. "Sounds like shouting. Looks like it's storming over there, too."

Kagome squinted. The village was far in the distance, but she could make out a black cloud overhead. "That's funny, that wasn't there before. What is it?"

Suddenly Inuyasha drew Tessaiga. "Get back! Whatever it is, it's heading our way fast!"

Kagome gasped. "Rin, get down! Hide in the grass!"

Rin crouched down on her hands and knees in the tall grass and watched as a great arm of black smoke reached out through the sky and dove toward them.

Kagome drew an arrow and let it go. It soared through the cloud. "What?" she cried out when it landed in the distance futilely. "It's not miasma! The smoke seems to have a mind of its own. I think it… I think it actually got out of the way!"

"Feh. Whatever it is, it's history now!" Inuyasha brandished Tessaiga before him. "_Meidou zangetsuha!_"

A giant Meidou was sent flying out of the sword toward the great cloud of smoke. As Kagome had guessed, the smoke parted like a wave as the Meidou opened. A tiny portion of the smoke vanished into the Meidou. But a cloud as big as a village still remained.

"Keh! This idiot doesn't know when to give up!" Inuyasha hurled Meidou after Meidou at the monster, but the smoke was too quick, too large. It was like poking bucket-sized holes in the ocean.

Soon the smoke wrapped around Inuyasha and Kagome.

"Kagome, get back!" Inuyasha cried. He jumped out in front of her, but in an instant, the smoke spread and seeped into their eyes until the whites were clouded black. Inuyasha and Kagome stood frozen, paralyzed, as the spirit dug deep into their souls.

_No!_ Rin thought, watching in horror from her hiding spot in the grass. She had to get up! She had to help her friends!

She was about to leap out when suddenly there was a miserable howling noise like a wounded animal. Rin clutched her ears in pain as black smoke began to leak out of Inuyasha and Kagome's eyes.

"_No! No! You two only exude happiness. Horrible, wwwretched happiness! Wwwhere is the delicious pain? I know I felt it here! Wwwhere is it?!_"

Inuyasha and Kagome started to blink slowly. They could move again.

"You bastard!" Inuyasha yelled as soon as he had regained full control of his body, and he hurled another Meidou at the monster.

_Just stay in the grass, Rin!_ Kagome thought. _I won't let him find you!_

_

* * *

_"It's times like this I wish I still had the kazaana," Miroku said grimly, peeking out of their hut at the destruction. All across the village, people were lying paralyzed across the ground, their eyes clouded and frozen like horrible black marbles. "I could have sucked up this smoke monster easily."

"Don't talk like that," Sango said, affixing her taijiya gas mask to her face. "It's bad to wish a curse on yourself."

"Sango!" Miroku put a hand on her shoulder. "Surely you're not thinking of going out there in your condition!" His eyes pointed toward her stomach, where his as-yet-unborn fourth child resided.

Sango's voice teetered shrilly. "We can't just leave Kagome and Inuyasha to fend for themselves! They're alone out there in the fields—they're easy targets!"

"You can't risk a fight in your condition, and I can't leave you here alone to defend yourself and the children should our home come under attack! Inuyasha and Kagome can take care of themselves."

Sango pushed past Miroku. "I won't let them die."

"Wait, Sango! Come see this. I don't think Inuyasha and Kagome are under any real danger."

"What do you mean?"

"Look at all the victims lying there outside. They're all bachelors, widows, and orphans…"

"Is that why our house was passed over? Because we're married?" Sango wondered.

"It's possible. In any case, I don't like sitting here any better than you do, but this isn't our fight. We have our children to think of now, and I won't abandon them. Inuyasha and Kagome will have to take care of this one alone."

Sango sighed, her lip trembling. "I know you're right. I just hope they're okay."

"I do, too," Miroku said, and he held Sango close and whispered reassuring words into her hair.

* * *

"_Wwwhere is it?! Wwhere is Kurokemuri's prey? I know I sensed sorrow here! Wwwhere is it?!_" the whirling smoke howled as it circled Inuyasha and Kagome.

Kagome bit her lip. _I have to draw him away. He mustn't find Rin! Keep stalling him, Inuyasha!_

Inuyasha threw another Meidou at Kurokemuri with Tessaiga.

"_Ant! Let's take awwway your little toy!_"

With a gale-like force surging through his body, Kurokemuri swept Tessaiga up into the air and carried it far away on the wind.

"Hey!" Inuyasha cried. "You bastard! _Sankon Tessou!_" He clawed at the smoke uselessly, and even tried throwing a punch at Kurokemuri's gaseous form.

"_Kukuku_," Kurokemuri rasped. "_Pathetic fool!_"

"Kurokemuri!" Kagome yelled, trying to keep him distracted. "What is it that you want?"

"_I feed on the sorrow and guilt that resides in the souls of the forsaken! Before long, nothing is left of them but a hollow shell! Ah, these are good times for me. So many battles, so many wwwars, so many delicious souls who have lost their loved ones!_"

Inuyasha growled. He knew that not long ago, he and his friends would have been easy prey for Kurokemuri too. He had lost his mother and Kikyo, Miroku had lost his father, Sango had lost her entire taijiya village…. If not for the love and the strength that Kagome had given him, Inuyasha knew he would be as good as stone now under Kurokemuri's spell.

"_I know I sensed an orphan here! Wwwhere is it?!_"

"If you want us to tell you," Kagome shouted, and suddenly jumped onto Inuyasha's back, "you'll have to catch us! Inuyasha, run!"

"Right!"

Inuyasha tore off with Kagome on his back at top speed.

"Head for the forest!" Kagome cried. "There's lots of cover under there. We can keep him busy chasing us for hours!"

"Yeah," Inuyasha said, grunting as they heard Kurokemuri howl overhead after them, "but what then? We can't outrun this thing forever. He threw Tessaiga ten miles in the other direction, and your arrows are too easy for him to dodge!"

"We'll think of something later! The only thing that matters right now is keeping him away from Rin."

Unfortunately, the gods must have heard Kagome talking about Rin behind her back, because at that very moment, Rin felt a prickly yellow weed tickling her underneath her nose. Try as she might to keep still, Rin let out a loud and unmistakable sneeze, rustling all the tall grass around her.

"_Wwwhat's that?_" Kurokemuri howled, and two great arms of smoke darted toward the earth, sweeping through the grass like a hurricane. Rin tumbled out of the grass like a doll being thrown around.

"Rin!" Kagome yelled, and Inuyasha leaped back in the direction of the girl. "Whatever he tries to do, keep your eyes shut, do you hear me?!"

Rin screamed once as Kurokemuri's thick smoky form encircled her, and she squeezed her eyes closed as hard as she could. The black cloud had completely engulfed her. She could feel the smoke whipping through her hair and pushing against her face, choking her nostrils. She coughed, but kept her eyes shut.

"_Little fool!_" Kurokemuri wheezed. And he very slowly began to seep into the tiny crevices of the corners of her eyes.

"No!" Kagome cried.

"You bastard!" shouted Inuyasha.

"_Kukuku_," Kurokemuri laughed as Rin began to whimper. "_Did you really think that would stop the great Kurokemuri?_"

Suddenly a great lightning-like torrent of energy ripped through Kurokemuri's body. The spirit howled in pain as half of his enormous smoky form dissolved into nothingness.

"No," a voice said. "But I will."

The part of the smoke that had surrounded and attacked Rin was gone. She opened her eyes.

"Lord Sesshomaru!"

Sesshomaru was floating in the air above her, brandishing Bakusaiga in one of his arms. "Jaken," he said, and the little imp holding onto him seemed to understand immediately.

"Right away, milord!" Jaken let go of the mokomoko-sama and fell to the earth with a light thud. He rushed over to make sure Rin was all right, carrying the Nintoujou along with him just in case Kurokemuri got any stupid ideas to attack Rin when her Master Jaken was around.

"Kurokemuri," Sesshomaru said. There was a deadly gleam in his eyes and the slightest trace of a smile on his face. Jaken shuddered when he saw that look. It was the look Sesshomaru always wore when he _greatly_ anticipated his next kill. This fight would not be pretty. "Let's finish this."

Kurokemuri whirled around him in a great torrent of black smoke many meters high. It was like Sesshomaru was caught in the eye of a tornado, the wind whipping his hair furiously about him.

"_Very wwwell!_" Kurokemuri howled, and struck!


	5. A Second Chance

"Sesshomaru! Whatever you do, don't let go of your sword!" Inuyasha yelled as Kurokemuri sent a giant fist of black smoke hurtling toward Sesshomaru.

Sesshomaru tightened his grip on Bakusaiga's handle an instant before the impact struck him. He was hurled through the air by the tornado currents of Kurokemuri's body, helpless in a sea of black smoke.

Rin, Jaken, Inuyasha, and Kagome could hardly make out Sesshomaru's white form through the whirlwind. Suddenly they heard a loud thud and the crack of bark, and saw that Sesshomaru had been rammed against a tree in the distance at the edge of the forest. In his hand shone Bakusaiga. Despite the wind and the impact, he had held onto it.

Sesshomaru braced himself against the bark as Kurokemuri continued to strike him, a never-ending torrent of hurricane-force smoke. Leaves and branches were stripped from the tree and soared away. Sesshomaru could hardly move a muscle at risk of losing his balance and being swept through the forest and having Bakusaiga knocked away. All his concentration went into holding onto that sword. It was the only weapon that had proven effective against Kurokemuri.

"_Kukuku_," Kurokemuri laughed as Sesshomaru struggled. "_You think you are able to stop me, little wwworm? As soon as I dispose of you, I wwwill simply go back and devour the soul of the orphan girl!_"

The barrage of smoke made it difficult for Sesshomaru to speak. "Not… going…. to… happen…." He tried raising his sword, but the force of the wind snapped his arm back. Bakusaiga almost slipped from his fingers. He readjusted his grasp and grimaced. So tight was his grip that blood began to seep from his palm. That just made the handle more slippery. With a great force of will, he began swinging the sword against the wind in an attack, but faltered halfway up. The resulting attack wave was weak, but the winds lessened as a small part of Kurokemuri's body dissolved.

"_Wwworthless wwworm!_" Kurokemuri's raspy voice howled before redoubling against Sesshomaru in a barrage of smoke.

Sesshomaru groaned. It had taken all his remaining strength for that attack, yet it had barely made a dent in Kurokemuri's vast body. His hand was bleeding; Bakusaiga was slipping. It was all he could do just to hold onto it.

"_You're as stubborn as they say, Sesshomaru. Yes, I've heard of you. The Great Lord Sesshomaru, the legendary youkai who lost his arm in battle and grew it back! An impressive feat, one I doubt you'll be able to pull off again. Let's see just how firmly attached that new arm of yours is!"_

All of Kurokemuri's hurricane-like force whipped against Sesshomaru's arm. There was a ripping sound as the fabric of his left sleeve tore away to reveal Sesshomaru's straining muscles. The black smoke pulled his arm back so that it was perpendicular to his body. The strength of Kurokemuri ripped tree roots out of the ground as he tore away at Sesshomaru, all his force directed solely on the arm now, yet still the arm held in its socket, and Bakusaiga still in its grasp. But Sesshomaru's face and arm were turning red with the strain, and veins bulged and throbbed as tendons threatened to rip.

"_How long can you hold on Sesshomaru, before your arm is torn from your body? Release the sword, and I wwwill at least spare you that indignity before I take your soul and the soul of the girl._"

Sesshomaru ignored Kurokemuri. Over the sound of the wind and his own pounding heart, his sensitive ears were picking up someone screaming in the distance. It was Rin.

"No, Lord Sesshomaru!" she yelled desperately. "Don't die for me! Just let go of Bakusaiga and run!"

Sesshomaru's determination boiled even as the tendons of his arm began to rip and fill with blood. _Never!_

Kurokemuri could see that his victim's body could not hold out much longer. "_Kukuku, your soul wwwill be a tasty treat, Sesshomaru. So much pain, so much sorrow…_"

Sesshomaru's eyes bulged as suddenly all sound seemed to fade away. He could not hear Rin's cries, or the howling wind, or Kurokemuri's vile taunts. All he heard was a deep cracking sound that seemed to echo throughout his body. It rang in his ears like a death bell, and suddenly he felt his arm go limp and slack, and his fingers felt numb as Bakusaiga slipped through them and flew far into the forest, carried away by the black smoke of Kurokemuri. His shoulder had dislocated.

Through the haze of smoke, Sesshomaru could see Rin and the others in the distance. Inuyasha and Kagome had horrified looks on their faces, and Rin and Jaken were screaming for him. Sesshomaru locked eyes with Inuyasha as Kurokemuri cackled triumphantly.

"_Now your soul is mine!_"

"Get… Rin… away…."

Those were Sesshomaru's last words as Kurokemuri darted forth and struck Sesshomaru's face like a snake. Sesshomaru fell over as the smoke entered his eyes and seemed to spread throughout his body, leaving everything cold and stiff in its wake. His body—his soul—filled with Kurokemuri, and the whites of his eyes turned as black as stone. He could not move. He could not see. All was black. At that moment, Sesshomaru knew. He was dead.

It took Inuyasha two seconds to realize that Rin and Jaken were screaming and running toward Sesshomaru's lifeless body.

"No!" Inuyasha cried, and he jumped ahead of them, blocking their path. "I have to get you out of here!"

"But Lord Sesshomaru—"

"There's nothing we can do for him now. We have to go!" Inuyasha picked Rin up in his arms against her will. "Jaken, get on my back! We're leaving!"

"No," Jaken said quietly. Tears were streaming down his little green face. "You go. I will hold Kurokemuri off as long as I can. I-It's what Lord S-Sesshomaru would have w-w-wanted," he sniffed, holding the Nintoujou at the ready.

Inuyasha flashed Jaken a pitying look, and then he was off. He stopped for Kagome, who jumped on his back, and then he raced as fast as he could.

Kurokemuri was in hot pursuit. A giant arm of smoke whooshed through the sky, reaching out for them. He arrived at Jaken first.

"You will leave Rin alone!" Jaken cried, striking his staff on the earth. A great wall of flame issued out of one of the Nintoujou's heads towards Kurokemuri.

Kurokemuri burst through the flames unharmed and knocked the staff to the ground with one strong gust of smoke. Jaken fell on his back as Kurokemuri hovered around him.

"_Kukuku_," Kurokemuri said. "_The fresh sorrow you carry in your soul is simply deafening, toad. Truly you cared about your fallen master more than anything else in this wwworld, didn't you?_"

"Yes," Jaken whispered.

"_Then prepare for an eternity of pain!_" Kurokemuri howled, and Jaken was covered in thick, black darkness.

When Kurokemuri was done feeding on his soul, he charged toward Inuyasha in the distance, leaving behind Jaken's stiff body. The little youkai's large yellow eyes, still wet with tears, were clouded black.

"Master Jaken!" Rin cried, struggling to get out of Inuyasha's arms. "Go back!"

Inuyasha only held her tighter in response. Kagome's voice was somber but gentle.

"You're our only concern right now, Rin. We have to keep going…"

Suddenly Rin's eyes widened in horror. "Behind you—!"

Inuyasha was knocked off his feet by a soaring gust of black smoke. Kagome fell to the ground next to him. Rin flew through the air, landed, and rolled to a stop several meters away. Immediately a large black cloud seemed to devour her.

"No!" Kagome cried. She and Inuyasha ran through the black smoke to her. It was so dark, so thick, they couldn't make out anything. Finally, the smoke lifted to reveal Rin's body lying facedown on the earth. Kagome knelt next to her, rolled her over, and gasped.

Rin's eyes were blank and lifeless, like coal.

Kagome choked with tears. "He got her… he got her…" Desperately she felt Rin's neck for any sign of a pulse. But Rin was as cold and stiff and unmoving as stone. "She's… gone."

"Kurokemuri, you bastard!" Inuyasha yelled. The black smoke seemed to be strutting through the air, pleased with itself. "Where are you going?!"

"_Kukuku, onto the next village, of course. I've tapped this one dry. But there are plenty of souls to be had. Wwwith each soul, my body expands. Soon I wwwill cover this entire land in darkness!_" And with that, the great fog of Kurokemuri swept through the air like a wave, heading away from the village it had just destroyed.

"Keh, not if I can help it. Wait here, Kagome. Look after… the body."

"Where are you going, Inuyasha?" Kagome said, holding Rin in her arms.

Inuyasha's face darkened. "It's my fault Rin and Jaken and Sesshomaru are like this. I have to get Kirara. I can find where Kurokemuri threw Tessaiga faster from the air. Once I have my sword back, I'm going after that bastard."

Kagome gasped with sudden realization. "Miroku, Sango, Shippo, the kids! They were in the village when Kurokemuri attacked. Do you think they're…" Kagome's eyes drifted toward Rin's lifeless body.

Inuyasha's voice was low. "I hope not."

And then he was off, running and leaping as fast as he could toward the village. Toward Miroku and Sango's home…

* * *

Desolation. Everywhere Inuyasha looked, bodies were strewn around, all with those same horrible black eyes. If anyone was left alive, then they were still hiding in their homes, too afraid to come out.

Suddenly Inuyasha cried out. There, up ahead, was a very familiar figure lying dead on the ground.

Inuyasha ran to her and knelt by her side. "No… old woman…" he whispered.

It was Kaede. Nearby, he recognized the body of the little orphan boy that Kaede had been taking care of the past few weeks.

"I'm going to get the monster who did this to you," he said. He had never thought it was possible for him to hate another demon as much as Naraku. Now he knew.

It was with an overwhelming sense of fear that he approached Miroku and Sango's hut. The foul stench that Kurokemuri had left throughout the village made it impossible for him to guess what he would find inside. He entered the doorway with trepidation—and was knocked onto his back. Something had hit him in the stomach.

"Miroku!" he cried.

"Inuyasha, it's you!" Miroku said, putting down his staff and helping Inuyasha up. "What are you doing here?"

"Checking up on you, idiot. Is everyone okay?" Inuyasha squinted into the little hut. He saw Sango standing in the back, holding her one-year-old son; behind her on the floor were Kirara (in her small form) and the twins, playing a quiet game with a mushroom. Inuyasha's brow furrowed in concern. "Where's Shippo?"

There was a flash of blue smoke. Where the mushroom had been now Shippo stood with a sheepish grin on his face. "Right here."

Inuyasha went over to him, and put a gentle hand on his shoulder. Then he bopped him hard on the head. "You idiot. Don't worry me like that."

Shippo rubbed his head angrily, but Miroku said, "We thought it best that he stay hidden. And good thing, too, because now we believe that orphans are one of the smoke monster's prime targets."

"It's true," Inuyasha said. "Kagome and I tried to stop him but… he got Rin. Kaede, too. I found her body."

Sango gasped. Everyone looked horrified.

"How did you escape the smoke monster, Inuyasha? Is Kagome all right?" Sango asked.

"Kagome's fine. The bastard's name is Kurokemuri. I tried to fight him, but the Meidou zangetsuha had little effect, and he blew Tessaiga away. I just couldn't hold onto it, his damn wind was too strong. He had us surrounded then. Went into our eyes, tried to eat our souls."

"How did you stop him?" asked Miroku.

"We didn't. He retreated himself. Apparently, he couldn't harm us because our souls lacked sadness. So, he tried going after Rin instead. That's when Sesshomaru showed up."

Shippo perked up. "Sesshomaru?"

"Yeah. The idiot couldn't hold onto his sword. Kurokemuri got him. Then Jaken and Rin. That's why I'm here. Sango, I need to borrow Kirara. If she can fly me around, I have a better chance of finding Tessaiga and stopping Kurokemuri before he gets to the next village."

"Of course," Sango said. Kirara mewed at her heels and jumped onto Inuyasha's shoulder.

"Thanks, Kirara. Let's go." Inuyasha turned to leave.

"Wait, Inuyasha," Miroku said. "Even if you're able to hold onto Tessaiga this time… do you think it's enough to stop Kurokemuri?"

Inuyasha turned a somber but determined face to Miroku. "I'll _make_ it enough. I'll have to. Now that Sesshomaru was stupid enough to get himself killed…"

* * *

Sesshomaru opened his eyes. Everything was bright and clear. Calm and peaceful. The forest, the wind, the black smoke… all was gone. Rin and Jaken and the others were nowhere to be seen. All had been replaced by a green field covered in pink flowers as far as the eye could see. It felt strangely familiar.

A gentle breeze came and Sesshomaru felt his left sleeve flapping loosely against his body. His left sleeve, the one that had been torn away by Kurokemuri—it was back. Back, but flapping loosely because his entire left arm was gone, exactly as it had been before he had regained it. With his right arm, Sesshomaru patted his chest, feeling for the Meidou-seki he had concealed beneath his robes. It, too, was gone.

Amidst his frustration, suddenly Sesshomaru realized there were two weights at his hip. One was Tenseiga, the same as before. But the other was not Bakusaiga, the sword that had blown away into the forest that no longer existed. No, the second sword at his hip was _Tokijin_, the youkai blade that had shattered long ago, whole once again. What the hell was going on?

A slight movement behind him.

Sesshomaru whirled around, instinctively drawing Tokijin, because that was the only weapon at hand. What he saw made his blood freeze.

_Kagura._

Kagura, sitting there among the blossoms with a weary expression, a great wound in her chest leaking shouki.

A terrible notion struck Sesshomaru then.

"Is this the afterlife?" he whispered.

Kagura looked up at him, smiling, and for a second a black light shone in her magenta eyes.

"No, Sesshomaru," she said, her voice filled with longing. "This is a second chance."


	6. Sesshomaru's Worst Memory

Sesshomaru could hardly believe his eyes.

The Meidou-seki was gone. Bakusaiga was gone. His left arm was gone. Tokijin was in his hand. And—

Kagura was before him. Kagura, sitting there in a field of flowers, leaking shouki from a chest wound.

The last thing Sesshomaru remembered was struggling as Kurokemuri—the smoke demon who had attacked Kaede's village—almost tore his arm from his body. His shoulder had dislocated, he'd dropped his sword, and Kurokemuri had seeped into his eyes. For a moment, everything had gone dark. When Sesshomaru awoke, he had changed. Everything had changed.

Everything was exactly as it had been on the day Kagura died.

"What kind of trick is this?" Sesshomaru said.

"Not a trick, but a trap," Kagura said, speaking with some difficulty. Her wound seemed to affect her too convincingly for her to be a mirage. "Kurokemuri's trap. He traps the souls of his victims in their worst memories, their greatest regrets. Their moments of loss. This is how their bodies stay frozen as though dead."

Sesshomaru looked around. No sign of Kurokemuri or anyone else. Nothing but empty field in all directions as far as the eye could see.

"I must find Kurokemuri and destroy him."

Kagura smiled sadly. "You are worried about your little toadstool and the human girl, I see. I never understood your attachment to those two."

"How do I get out of here?'

"You could show some concern for me, you know." Kagura motioned to her wound with her eyes.

Sesshomaru narrowed his eyes and resheathed Tokijin, disgusted. "You're not real. You're a figment from my memory. An imprint. A creation of Kurokemuri's sorcery."

"I was created from your memory, yes. But my every nuance is exactly as you remember. And I am as real as I ever was." And Kagura reached out to touch his ankle. A lesser being would have jolted at her solid grasp, but Sesshomaru did not betray his surprise. He merely stepped out of reach.

"My only concern is finding Kurokemuri and killing him." Sesshomaru turned from Kagura. In truth, he hated having to relive her dying moments. There was no place to go, only endless fields, but he made to leave. He'd find Kurokemuri somehow.

"I see you're the same as ever, too," Kagura said, her voice lowered bitterly. "Always chasing after the bad guy. No concern for who you leave behind."

Sesshomaru felt a twinge of pain in his heart, but he kept going. If only she didn't sound exactly like he remembered, that same caustic tone she could use when she wanted to hurt him.

"You won't find him here," Kagura called weakly. "He is not here and there is no way out. You may as well make the best of a bad situation."

Sesshomaru stopped. He knew she was right, at least about Kurokemuri not being there. Sesshomaru knew he was stuck inside his own mind. His real body was lying in a forest frozen as though dead. Kurokemuri had probably left him frozen there and moved on to new victims. But how does one escape from prison when that prison is one's own mind?

"What do you suggest I do?" Sesshomaru said.

"You are stuck here forever, but that does not necessarily have to be a bad thing..."

"What do you mean?"

"You wanted to save me, once. This is your chance to rewrite your memory. To start anew..."

Tenseiga pulsed at his hip.

Kagura looked up at him longingly.

"Do you still wish to save me?"

Sesshomaru closed his eyes. He wasn't admitting defeat to Kurokemuri yet. He still wanted to find him. He knew that at this very moment Jaken and Rin could be trapped in mental prisons of their own, for without him around to protect them, Kurokemuri could have gotten them, too. But Sesshomaru had played out this very scenario in his head many times, on windy nights as he looked up at the stars. He envisioned himself in this very field, staring down at Kagura as before. Only instead of watching her dissolve into the wind, Tenseiga would heed his call. The pallbearers of the afterlife would appear around her broken body; and with one swing of his sword he would vanquish them. And Kagura would be restored.

What a chance to make this dream a reality. Kagura would be alive with him, at least for a little while. At least until Sesshomaru could find a way back to the world of the living. Could he really pass up such an opportunity?

"Yes," Sesshomaru said finally, "I wish to save you."

When he opened his eyes, Kagura looked like she was barely hanging on. She was pale and weak, and could no longer hold her head up. She lie back in the grass, looking up at him longingly, as she had before all those years ago.

Sesshomaru unsheathed Tenseiga and squinted, waiting for the pallbearers of the afterlife to appear. They had to appear. He would make them appear.

Kagura smiled at the sight of her savior. Moments passed. The shouki emanating from her wound grew thicker. Her body began to dissipate. Still the pallbearers would not appear. The smile faded from Kagura's face.

"Why, Sesshomaru?" she said, her eyes stricken with pain. Time was running out. "Why don't you save me?"

Sesshomaru's eyes roved over the air desperately. No sign of the pallbearers. No sign at all!

Kagura dissolved into the air—her anguished eyes disappeared last of all—their image burned into Sesshomaru's brain. This was not the peaceful death Kagura had once had. This was torture. Sesshomaru slashed the empty air angrilly with Tenseiga. Why hadn't it worked?!

Sesshomaru's growl was cut short by a sound behind him. He turned and saw—

Kagura. Fully formed, sitting in the field, with the great shouki-leaking wound once again.

"Save me, Sesshomaru," Kagura cried, looking more pained than before.

Again Sesshomaru raised Tenseiga. Again he waited for the pallbearers to appear. Again he watched, helpless and frustrated, as Kagura died in agony.

And so it continued. An endless cycle. Every time Kagura died, a new Kagura appeared. And each time, her death was more painful than the last. Each time, Kagura begged him to save her. A hundred times Sesshomaru watched Kagura die, until her dying breath was a scream, and Sesshomaru found himself screaming along with her.

Kurokemuri was forgotten. Seeing Kagura die one hundred times had made the pain of her death all too fresh and real to him. All Sesshomaru could think of was his one great failure.

The latest wounded Kagura sat before him in anguish, looking as angry as Sesshomaru felt. "Why couldn't you save me? If only you had saved me, we could have been together. I loved you!"

"I know," Sesshomaru said wearily, feeling as beaten as he ever had. "I know you did."

"If you cared half as much for me as you did for your little whelps, you could have saved me, too!"

The remark was meant to hurt him. Sesshomaru knew because it was a thought he'd often had himself, back on those windy days when he was full of regret. He had managed to use Tenseiga to save both Jaken and Rin from death. Why hadn't it worked for Kagura? To wield Tenseiga, one needs a caring heart. Had he not cared enough for her?

But when the first sting of Kagura's comment faded, the image of Jaken and Rin lingered in Sesshomaru's mind. Kagura was dead. There was no saving her, now or ever. But out there, in the real world, were Jaken and Rin, and they needed his help. They could still be saved. He must find a way out!

Sesshomaru sheathed Tenseiga and knelt down next to Kagura. She was moaning in pain. The shouki was thick like blood.

"I've had that same thought, Kagura. I've spent countless nights wondering, why couldn't I save you? Was it because I didn't care enough?" He pulled her close to him and felt her heart beating, weakly, against his. "But I know that isn't true, Kagura. Because I felt it in my heart... when I looked down on you in that field and saw that you were dying. In that moment, I loved you."

Kagura's head was buried against his shoulder; he felt her tears trickling down his neck.

"I'm sorry I never got to tell you. But I understand now why Kurokemuri has imprisoned me here. He understands your death is my moment of greatest regret. And he knows that as long I am here, I will spend eternity trying to save you, living my greatest failure over and over again."

Sesshomaru held Kagura by the shoulders so that she was looking up at him.

"I love you, Kagura. But I can't save you. I accept that now. So forgive me..." Sesshomaru closed his eyes.

"Forgive you...?" Kagura said, and she leaned up to kiss him.

She jolted an inch before his lips, unable to move. Sesshomaru's claws were sticking through her, all the way through her heart. She looked up at him in pain, her mouth an O of surprise. "Why...?" she gasped.

Sesshomaru forced himself to look her in the eyes.

"Because I'm through living in the past."

She began to dissipate, but not into the gentle wind, as she once had. Her body was turning into the ugly black smoke of Kurokemuri. Her cry turned into the horrible howl of Kurokemuri's wind. Everything around them was dissolving into a whirlwind of black smoke. Sesshomaru couldn't see through the thick cloud. It stung his eyes. He closed them, and heard the whooshing and felt the rushing of the impenetrable smoke.

And then everything was still and silent.

Sesshomaru opened his eyes.

He was back! Back in the land of the living. Back at the edge of the forest. The sky was clear. The sun was shining. There was no sign of Kurokemuri anywhere.

"Lord Sesshomaru! Lord Sesshomaru!"

Rin's voice from far away. She was running toward him. And Jaken was running toward him, too! They were both alive.

Sesshomaru felt his chest, half expecting to find Kagura's fingers there, still clutching for him in her last horrible moments. Instead he felt the hard, cold metal of the Meidou-seki resting there beneath his robes.

Sesshomaru stood up, grasping the Meidou-seki. He felt overwhelmed. He couldn't be there anymore. He couldn't let Jaken and Rin reach him. Bakusaiga was lying a ways away in the forest, having been blown there in the battle with Kurokemuri. Sesshomaru picked it up, and flew away, away from the cries of his friends, who watched in confusion as he left.

Sesshomaru was gone.


	7. The Key

Rin and Jaken watched in disappointment and confusion as Sesshomaru flew away, heedless of their calls.

They had been so happy. So happy to be free of Kurokemuri's spell, the spell which had frozen their bodies and trapped their minds in their moments of greatest sorrow. So happy to realize that if they were alive and awake, then Sesshomaru must be too.

But when they ran to him, calling out to him, ready for their joyful reunion after a temporary death, he had fled. He didn't even look in their direction, wouldn't even show them his eyes, wouldn't see for himself their safety. He'd simply fled into the sky, flying far away, out of reach and out of sight.

Rin ran after him, but finally had to stop to catch her breath. Her heartbeat was pounding in her eardrums. Several moments passed before Jaken caught up to her.

"Why, Master Jaken?" she said between gasps of breath. "Why did Lord Sesshomaru leave like that, without even sparing a glance for us? Wasn't he happy to see we're all right?"

"I'm sure he was, Rin," Jaken said. "Lord Sesshomaru does not waste actions. If he left, he has a reason. Perhaps he knows where Kurokemuri is hiding and went to vanquish him for good."

Rin shook her head slowly, still staring at the spot in the horizon where Sesshomaru had disappeared. "No, Master Jaken, Kurokemuri has already been destroyed. I felt it in my dream... in the nightmare he had me trapped in..." Rin hesitated to speak of the horror she had viewed, watching bandits slaughter her family over and over again. "It's over now. Kurokemuri is gone."

Suddenly Kagome ran up to them, panting. She had witnessed Rin wake up and run toward the spot where Sesshomaru had fallen.

"Rin! I'm so glad you're all right!" Then with a glance around, "What happened to Sesshomaru?"

"He's alive," Rin said, "but he left, without even looking back at us. But why?"

Kagome put a reassuring hand on her shoulder. "I don't know, but let's not worry about that right now. The important thing is we're all safe. Let's get back to the village and make sure everyone else is okay, too."

So Kagome led the way, and Jaken toddled along after her, but Rin looked back one last time in the direction where Sesshomaru fled before slowly turning back to follow them.

* * *

Inuyasha received a welcoming sight when he barged into Miroku and Sango's hut, worried.

"Kagome!" he cried, and she ran into his arms. Kirara jumped off his shoulder and ran over to Sango to be patted while Inuyasha greeted his friends. "Rin, you're all right!" He laid a hand on her shoulder, and his eyes brightened when he spotted Kaede and the young orphan in her care Botan. "Nothing stops you, eh, old woman?" Inuyasha said fondly.

"_I'm_ alive, too," Jaken said to no one in particular.

They were all safe, Miroku, Sango, their children, Shippo... everyone seemed accounted for, except Sesshomaru.

Miroku gave him the once over. "You've retrieved Tessaiga, I see."

Inuyasha patted the sword at his hip. "Thanks to Kirara. Easy to find when you've got a bird's-eye view."

"Inuyasha," Kagome looked at him, concerned. "What happened to Kurokemuri? Did you defeat him?"

"Never got the chance. I'd picked up Tessaiga, and we flew after him as fast as we could. He was already attacking the nearest village. Just as I got close enough to attack, suddenly he just... evaporated into thin air. And the villagers he'd frozen started to wake up! When I saw that they were okay, I rushed over here."

There was a small gust of wind and a dull thud behind him, outside the entrance to the hut.

"I just want to know what the hell is going on," Inuyasha said.

"I think I can answer that!" a creaky voice called from outside.

They all rushed out to look.

"Totosai!" Inuyasha exclaimed. "What are you doing here?"

"I came as soon as news of Kurokemuri's return reached my ears."

Inuyasha gave him a sharp bop on the skull. "More likely you thought you'd keep clear until the danger was gone, you old coward!"

Totosai's face turned red as the bump on his head swelled, confirming Inuyasha's suspicions.

"Wait!" Kagome cried. "What do you mean 'Kurokemuri's return'? You mean he's attacked before?"

"Yes," Totosai said, rubbing his head, "a long time ago, Kurokemuri attacked this land, and was vanquished. Kurokemuri draws his power from feeding on the anguish of lonely souls, and it takes a lot of anguish over many years for him to take corporeal form. With this warring era we live in, it was only a matter of time before the anguish of all the orphans and widows brought forth Kurokemuri again."

"So then why did Kurokemuri disappear just now, old man?" Inuyasha asked.

"I suspect it was the same as last time," Totosai said. "You see, Kurokemuri traps his victims in their worst memories of loss. It's nearly impossible for someone to escape from the memory, because as painful as it is, it is the only way they can be again with those who have left them. It is hard to say goodbye..."

Jaken sniffed then, thinking of how he had been trapped in Sesshomaru moment of "death," when Kurokemuri had defeated him.

"The dead hold sway over our lives," Totosai continued. "Someone under Kurokemuri's spell must have been strong enough to accept the death and destroy the image of their loved one. Not an easy thing to do. But once someone does it, Kurokemuri loses all his power—hence why everyone was freed from the spell."

"Then—Lord Sesshomaru must have done it!" Rin cried. "But then why did he run away...?"

Everyone looked around uncomfortably at her outburst.

"So, Sesshomaru fell under Kurokemuri's curse..." Totosai said quietly to himself. The implications were obvious to him. "That just leaves one question. Who did Sesshomaru see in his memory...?

"Who did he have to kill...?"

* * *

Sesshomaru was flying quickly, blindly—to what destination he knew not. The wind was whipping past his face, biting him as he soared. The Meidou-seki felt cold and dead on his skin, its secret key unknowable, a heavy weight against his heart.

So heavy... everything felt so heavy...

He let his armor fall to the ground, and flew on. Kurokemuri was gone. Naraku was gone. The biggest battles of his life were behind him. He didn't need it anymore.

Losing the armor didn't make him feel any lighter. It was that damn Meidou-seki he wanted to be rid of. Vaguely, he realized that today was the day his dear Mother required its return. He had failed his Father's final test.

There was no sense in making Mother wait any longer. He resolved to head toward the direction of her realm.

After what seemed like forever, and yet no time at all, he landed, not in a castle in the clouds, but on solid earth, and he felt the Meidou-seki brush free from his robes, coming to rest over them, almost of its own accord. He looked around solemnly and found himself in familiar surroundings. It was the last place he wanted to be, but the only place his heart would take him. It had subconsciously brought him _here_.

Where she had died.

_Where he had failed._

He was standing in a field full of blossoms, light and beautiful. Picturesque. Just as before.

Only Kagura wasn't there this time. Wasn't there with a wound in her heart, looking up at him to save her.

The wind suddenly died all around him, and the flower petals were still. The dying sun beat down on him, and it was incredibly stuffy. Suddenly Sesshomaru felt suffocated and choked, as though some demon curse were still upon him.

But there was nothing, no dark magic at work. No remnant of Kurokemuri's spell. There was only Sesshomaru, a field of flowers, and his memories to choke him.

He thought of her, of how she looked in her last moments. Happy. She knew she was dying, but she was happy. Happy he was there... happy she got to see him one last time...

Sesshomaru closed his eyes, feeling the orange sun on his skin, but never feeling darker, picturing her face as she lay dying.

He had never admitted to himself before today that he had loved her. But Kurokemuri's foul trickery had brought it out of him, and now it bubbled up on the surface in plain view.

_I loved her..._ Sesshomaru thought, and suddenly after centuries of near-solitude with nothing but a lackey by his side and a brief period when two children were under his watch, he never felt more alone in his life.

_I _love_ her..._ he thought, and for a brief moment he felt something glide across his cheek. It trickled down until it reached the end of his pointed chin, and there it clung for a brief moment, glinting in the orange light like a diamond. It was fighting valiantly against gravity in the still air, but like him, Sesshomaru thought bitterly, it too must _fail..._

The diamond fell and disappeared into the Meidou-seki against his heart. The black surface of the Meidou-seki shone where it had landed, but Sesshomaru did not see it, would not open his eyes to a world so empty.

A light wind began to blow, seeping from the dark stone. It brushed through Sesshomaru's hair and felt cool against his cheeks. Slowly the wind began to grow stronger, dancing around him, picking up flower blossoms in its stream. The air was becoming thicker, denser, engulfing him... he was locked in its soft embrace... a stray petal here and there became trapped in his hair or in the fold of his robes... and as he felt the wind brush lightly past his lips, it seemed to him to begin to form a kiss.

Without knowing what he was doing, it seemed he was kissing the breeze back, and when he opened his eyes, it was no wind but a woman solidifying in his arms. The air came to a standstill, forming her body, her clothes, even the feathers in her hair just as he had remembered them.

"Kagura," he said, breathless.

"Sesshomaru," she said quietly, looking up at him, and he peered deeply into her eyes. They looked just as happy and content as the last time she had gazed up at him.

"I won't fail you again, Kagura," he said softly, and she buried her face against his neck.

"I know," she murmured.

They stood there together like that for a long time. Sesshomaru reached his fingertips lightly to his own cheek. He had possessed the secret key to the Meidou-seki all along.

* * *

**EPILOGUE**

Sesshomaru's mother stared down bemusedly at the little youkai prostrating himself before her. His steed Ah-Un was nearby. Her son, of course, was nowhere in sight. Off enjoying the spoils of his hard won victory against the Meidou-seki, no doubt, she thought wryly to herself.

Her son had instructed the little youkai to send a scroll in his place, which read as follows:

_Dearest Mother,_

_Here I return to you Father's Meidou-seki in the same flawless condition in which you loaned it to me._

She glanced down at the necklace that rest in the little youkai's hands, the beads twisted and tangled beyond recognition or repair, the Meidou-seki itself reattached to them in a haphazard manner. Did she detect Totosai's shoddy welding work?

_If you find anything about it to displease you, please punish my loyal vassal Jaken however you deem appropriate._

_I regret that I could not deliver the Meidou-seki to you personally, but I find myself terribly busy and will not be able to visit anytime soon._

_I thank you for the loan, though. It has been most useful._

_Respectfully,_

_Your loving son_

"Hnnn," Sesshomaru's mother said when she finished reading the scroll.

"Most Honorable Mother!" Jaken cried. "Please accept a thousand pardons-oof!"

Sesshomaru's mother had walked past him, unintentionally stepping over his head in the process.

"Little youkai," she said with a glint in her eye. "I do believe it's been far too long since I paid my dear son a visit, don't you think?"

Sesshomaru's mother plucked the mangled necklace from his hands, put it over her head, and daintily sat on top of Ah-Un, leaving room for Jaken in front.

"Really," she said, "does my dear son actually think he can bring a woman home from the afterlife without introducing her to Mother?"

Jaken gulped. Lord Sesshomaru wasn't going to like this.

**THE END**


End file.
